Holy Frigging Matrimony - a Tangled Series Short Story by Emma Chase

Author:Emma Chase [Chase, Emma]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Amazon: B00H3I2172
Publisher: Emma Chase
Published: 2013-11-29T00:00:00+00:00

We roll over till we’re side by side. I straight arm him, holding on to the front of his shirt. I get in a nice right hook to his chin, drawing first blood. With a growl he flips over so he’s on top, straddling my waist. He nails me in the eye from the left.

I shake it off and grind out, “My sister hits harder than that. Pussy.”

He grits his teeth, holding me down at the chest. “Suck my dick.”

I bring my leg up and knee him in the back. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Oh, no, that’s right—you wouldn’t. Kate sucks fantastic cock, by the way. You don’t know what you were missing all those years, you fucking idiot.”

Yeah—I know.

I can’t believe I just said that, either. In front of a room full of people. In front of Kate’s mother.

And if the horrified gasp that sounds suspiciously like my girlfriend’s voice is any indication? There’s an excellent chance I’ll go the rest of my life without ever getting head again.

Still, it was a great comeback, wasn’t it?

Without warning, the scent of coffee fills the air. And a second later my legs are burning. It’s scorching, like the boiling oil castle guards used to pour down on the invaders in Medieval times.

“Ahh! Christ!”

Instantly, Warren and I forget about knocking each other’s teeth out. We’re too busy trying to get away from the sizzling liquid that’s being poured on us.

I look up into the diabolical eyes of Amelia Warren, who’s proudly holding two stainless steel carafes that used to be filled with coffee. And now aren’t.

She reaches down and grabs my ear with one hand and Warren’s with the other. And we’re immobilized. Immediately. Amelia Warren—pain in the ass by day, ninja warrior by night.

She drags us out of the room by our respective ears, not unlike Sister Beatrice would have in the good old days. But we don’t go quietly.

“Ow…fuck…oooowwww!”

“Aunt Amelia, let go! I’m a musician, I need my ear!”

“Stop your whining! Beethoven was deaf and he did just fine.”

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